the beiggest secret to successful habit change

The Biggest Secret to Successful Habit Change

May 29, 2019

Do you know what the biggest secret to successful habit change is? It’s a lot more basic than you might think and that’s what also makes it so tricky.

The biggest secret to successful habit change is that you have to actually want to change the habit. Or that you actually want the change that the new habit will bring about.

I know, I know.

Captain Obvious.

Here’s the thing: It’s not as simple as you might think and that’s part of the problem.

Change is hard.

Transformation is even harder.

Here’s one way to think of it:

You can change the way you do something, but if you don’t transform the way you think, that change won’t stick around long term.

Transformation is all about identity and most people don’t have just one identity. And usually those identities are battling with one another to be in charge.

I’m not talking about a Wonder Woman vs Diana Prince conflict of identity.

I’m talking about the identity conflict between wanting to be a good mom and also wanting to feel well rested.

Being a “good mom” is one identity, while “being a person who feels well rested” is another identity. The conflict is in that you often feel like being a good mom goes hand-in-hand with sleepless nights, bags under your eyes, and a pot full of strong coffee with your name on it.

If you associate being a good mom with long nights full of finishing up the cupcakes for your sons birthday party, plus the pinterest worthy matching decorations and crafty birthday party activities, where does getting enough sleep fit into that experience?

Let me simplify it. If you associate being a good mom with not getting enough sleep, you can’t also have the identity of “being a person who feels well rested.”

One identity is always going to win in battle over the other.

The question is, which one?

Maybe a better question is, “does it actually have to be that way?” Or, can you shift your beliefs around what “a good mom is” to include feeling well-rested?

That’s how you not only transform a belief, but also have the ability to change a habit.


There’s way more to successful habit change than just wanting it to happen, of course. There are specific actions you can take and tool you can use to make it more possible to change or add a beneficial habit.

And I have a program for that.

If you want to work towards transforming your habits in alignment with seasonal energetics and your own personal needs? Join me for 3 months this summer to test out my Self-Care for All Seasons program.

Summer is a great time to re-evaluate and renew your commitment to your self-care habits. Learn more about the program here.

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